How To Learn From Failure

Coming clean and being completely honest with my fitness journey has not been easy! I wish I could tell you guys all of this has been a piece of cake, and that since I've discovered how to truly eat healthy I have never touched a donut again! Bahaha! Yeah, right!

I have failed over and over again. I run back to eating like crap for a couple of days, and then I feel the shame and disappointment crushing every bone in me, and I want to dig a little hole and bury myself in it! But I don't; I get up and hop on the healthy train again! I ask myself why I even got off this amazing train ride if it's what truly makes me happy? Going on a strict diet for a bikini competition taught me so much:

1. That this diet is not meant for everyone

2. It's hard as hell

3. It's not for me

Again this is my experience with this diet, and I know many girls that have never had issues with it, but everyone is different. In my experience, it just wasn't healthy for me. For a typical bikini diet, you are basically eating animal products every 3 hours. My body did not take to this diet so well. Everyday my body gave me signs to stop. I suffered from major digestion problems, my face broke out, my skin became really dry, and my hair was falling out. I never really craved pizza or a cheeseburger before, but being on this new diet, when my cheat meal came around I literally needed pizza! I would have killed for pizza! My relationship with food got even worse. I looked at cheat meals as rewards for my hard work I had put in all week, thus telling my body that eating like crap for one night was my ultimate high and happy place! Yeah, thats not healthy people!

So I sought helped from a good friend of mine, Lynee Palacios, who is a nutristionist here in the valley. Her diet had very little animal product and was seriously so delicious!! It consists of low calorie meals packed with tons of nutrients! No need for cheat meals! This taught me, once again, that all food should be viewed as fuel for your body, and that you can indulge in sweets and salty food if it's all prepared with real foods. It reminded me that everything you consume should be nourishing you, helping your body function properly, and healing you. I seriously couldn't believe my new diet had flavor!

I wanted to do a bikini competion to challenge myself to be the fittest I could be and advocate health at the same time. I feel that now, with this new diet, I'm genuinely doing both! I'm so happy to share my journey with you guys, and of course I believe sharing my failures comes with it! Remember not to be so hard on yourself when it comes to this new lifestyle change. We are in an environment where its so hard to stay healthy, and we also grew up in a time where process foods are so available and somehow we are all sugar addicts. It's hard to kick out any addiction.

I'm learning to love my body in all stages of my journey. I'm eating healthier and working out to not only look good. I have taken up so many new hobbies and I also train to be a better athlete in this sports! Having a strong core, great balance, and strong legs can make surfing and snowboarding so fun! I'm excited my life has found a new healthy balance. My training and healthy eating has so much purpose. Through all of this, I'm teaching my little girl the power of cooking! The power of self love!

My first photo shoot for my talented bikini sponsor vizioncouture! His bikinis are for all shape and sizes, all custom made and original!
 Not "stage ready" but I'm healthy! Looking at this pictures makes me happy because I didn't starve for this shoot I wasn't on the typical bikini diet, but simply eating wholesome yummy foods!

Make sure to follow my friend +Lynee Palacios @lyneep for meal plans!