Why was I feeling such peace within myself and so awake?! Why was I having fewer and fewer sleepless nights? Today I was able to really pinpoint what it was. See, today was an awful day! A current of events that I swear you would think I was making up! In the midst of a painful, bad day and screaming to the seven winds "Why was is this happening to me," a true revelation manifested. I ran into the bathroom, sobbing my sorrows away, and looked at my reflection in the mirror. Oh god, was I a mess! I washed my faced and I told myself to breathe slower and another little voice told me everything is going to be okay. Literally just like that, I turned sad tears to happy tears while straight up looking like a horror movie scene, where there’s a psycho girl laughing and crying with mascara running down her face! Lol.
See, I realized then that as bad as my day was going I should expect disappointment, failures and even heartaches. All of this was part of growing to a better me. The little voice who said everything was going to be okay was that same voice that tells me to aim for growth and for love. I’m doing all sorts of different things in my life now and completely taking a 180 in my career, there is no such thing as a same old day now! Every day is full of new challenges that I eagerly tackle, or as I’m learning, will tackle me!
Experiencing disappointments and feeling like you are failing are only temporarily feelings if you're focus is on the right path. It’s like the universe’s divine way of pushing you back to the right track. The new way I view the world has been the reason for this so called "awakening".
I now see the world without fear.
Without fear you don't limit yourself to certain guides. You set something in you free and you let your inner creativity take over.
When the shit hits the fan and I feel like crying and giving up I remember my goal and why I’m doing what I’m doing. A sense of tranquility takes over my body and I literally feel like my body detentes and I can see clearly again. See, what keeps me at peace is knowing that no matter what life throws at me I will always pick growth and love. I will always wear my heart on my sleeve and be open to new ideas. Failure and heartbreak will happen while I grow and have a heart full of love.
Here are some pictures of summer 2015. I work in Seattle now and I’m beyond blessed to be able to get out of the heat and enjoy the Pacific North West weather instead! When I see some of these pictures it reassures me I’m on the right track! I’m living for love everyday and growing as a lover and mother, so a bad day here and there is okay with me!
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| Playing at Lake Washington |
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